03 December 2012 ~ 0 Comments

Twas the Night without my BrewTender…

Twas the night before Christmas truly a night in December to remember.  Cause nowhere in sight was my frigging, BrewTender. 

I searched all through the cabinets… I searched high and low.  I searched throughout the kitchen and the basement below. 

The thought of no BrewTender for the Christmas Eve party, was more than I could bare - so I doubled my efforts to find the sum-bitch… women – just get in my way… if you dare!

The teenagers were all bitching bout what they probably wouldn’t be getting in the morning – but try and keep me from finding my BrewTender tonight, of that… they should take warning!

I started throwing crap from the kitchen closets, and it made such a clatter - the wife came to see if I was out of my mind… as if that was a first, or would even matter!

Away to the bathroom window I flew like a flash… I tore open the shitter, bent over and threw up my breakfast hash. While in the bathroom I placed my moon on the crapper - Oh where, oh where, is my BrewTender draft beer tapper? 

But what to my wondering eyes should appear… a floater like no other, to be dealt with - with no fear!  Up from my seated posture I arose my rosie red rear. To plunger, to plunger, to plunger… ah hell… none was near!

I ran outside to use dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly - when my ass met with an obstacle, mount hell high in the sky!  So up to the roof-top my trousers and I we flew…  With toilet paper still hanging from below, and perhaps some Winnie the Pooh too!

It was then that I saw Martin and Dave which I heard say… to clean him up we’re gonna need to get some comet… He looks so stupid… he appears to be………. yep… he’s still a blitz’n.

Martin reached into their sleigh, Dave cause of drinking had a twinkle in his bloodshot eyes - What I saw next made me almost die, that I cannot lie!  There it was – a wonderment to behold… The last BrewTender on earth, which had yet been given, borrowed or sold. 

More important than copper, bronze, silver or gold… was the magfnifficint sight of which I began to behold.

Dave sprang from the sleigh so lively and quick; just the sight of him moving so fast… damn near made me sick!   But I heard Martin and Dave exclaim as they drove their sleigh off my roof. 

Take this BrewTender, pull your pants up, and get out of our sight…

Merry Christmas and BrewTender’s for all… and for all – Party on dudes!

Just one Elfs opinion!!!

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